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As one of Canada's first Atheist ministers, I feel I have chosen a higher path to both enlightenment and mockery, and in doing so have found myself the willing target of endless questioning and minor, repetitive, and most times utterly boring challenges from my religious friends and acquaintances. Recently, my escapades and water cooler chats have consistently brought about a popular question often raised by Christian would-be debaters. It is a question I have thus far answered rather quickly and vaguely, before scurrying off and leaving them to ponder my response, mostly with a smile, and on occasion with a bat in hand chasing after me. The question, "Who is Bob?" has no simple explanation. In fact, I submit that the possibilities are as infinite as the universe itself, but I will attempt to confuse you even more, right here, right now, in the hopes that I may one day be able to explain to you further whilst happily accepting your hard earned money to bullshit you for a few hours in a church. (Oh, I can go on) Who is Bob? Let's break the question up for better insight, and make use of the so loved bullet list... Probably not since it is highly improbable that any gods exist. If any evidence ever pops up though, Bob would take it into consideration - Is Bob the "creator" of the universe?
We don't know if Bob is the creator, but he is definitely a creator. Bob created glasses to help people with imperfect vision (due to poorly designed eyes?) see. He created clothing to keep us warm, and medicine to heal our bodies.
Yup, Bob is all loving. Unlike other imaginary beings, Bob really does give a shit about people. If Bob were a god, events such as the Holocaust, 9/11, the plague, etc. would have never happened. No, Bob has something called "free will". Any imaginary being claiming to be omniscient could not possibly know everything while still possessing the faculties for decision making. Any fictitious character that is supposedly "all knowing" would have no need for a plan, no need or capability to THINK for itself, and no need for intervention, nor the skills to do so. No, but Bob certainly understands the dilemma created by such an outlandish claim. Could Bob create a rock so large that he himself could not lift it? Bob knows this paradox proves that no sky-being or mythological creature could possibly be "all powerful".
No. Bob is not concerned with other magical creatures, all powerful universal dictators, and psychopathic genocidal maniacal storybook characters. Bob won't ever punish you for believing in fairies or unicorns, but he may laugh about it. - Would Bob ever suggest you kill your own children to prove your devotion to him?
No, Bob is perfectly sane.
No, I already told you Bob is all loving. No hell, no Satan, no horrible tales to scare children with
So what do we know about Bob so far? Well, even though this is just the tip iceberg, Bob is.... - The firefighter that runs into a burning building to pull you out
- The doctor that saved your life
- The scientist who cured a disease
- The stranger that helped you get up after a fall
- The artist that painted a great work
- The watchmaker, and the peacemaker
- The engineer, the astrophysicist, the construction worker, and the janitor
- The person who does good deeds for no reason other than they wanted too
- The friend we trust
For more on Bob, please send me all your hard earned money so I can build churches, fly around in private jets, and generally live in the lap of luxury and not have to work a real job.
Thanks, and Bob bless you.
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Slap some quotes around that Bob and you get "BoB"!
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